The Hurt Feelings Report form serves as a tool for individuals seeking to document their emotional distress in a structured manner. Designed for submission to law enforcement officers, this form allows users to articulate their grievances and request sympathy. If you feel the need to express your hurt feelings, consider filling out the form by clicking the button below.
The Hurt Feelings Report form serves as a unique tool for individuals who feel emotionally impacted by someone else's words or actions. This form is intended for those who want to express their hurt feelings and seek sympathy from others. To initiate the process, the form must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer. It collects essential information such as the name, age, and sex of the person reporting, along with details about the incident that caused the emotional distress. Specific sections require the individual to describe the nature of their feelings, the time and location of the incident, and whether anyone showed sympathy during the event. The form also includes a humorous take on the severity of the feelings hurt, asking if the individual experienced any permanent damage or required a tissue for tears. While the submission of this report is voluntary, it is accompanied by light-hearted warnings about potential labels for repeated submissions. Finally, the form concludes with an offer of support, including the possibility of dispatching a "hugger" or emergency services if necessary. Through this approach, the Hurt Feelings Report form aims to address emotional grievances in a manner that is both serious and tongue-in-cheek.
The Hurt Feelings Report form is often accompanied by other documents that help in addressing emotional distress or grievances. Here are five forms and documents that may be used alongside it:
Using these forms in conjunction with the Hurt Feelings Report can help ensure that emotional grievances are taken seriously and addressed appropriately. Each document plays a role in creating a supportive environment for those who may be struggling with their feelings.
HURT FEELINGS REPORT
To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer
DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974
AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:
ROUTINE USES:
DISCLOSURE:
S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings
Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares
Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term
PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA
A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)
B. WHINER'S AGE
C. WHINER'S SEX
D. DATE OF REPORT
E. TYPE OF WHINE USED
F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM
PART II - INCIDENT REPORT
A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT
B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS
C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS
D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)
E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS
F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE
G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT
PART III - INJURY
(Circle all that apply)
1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?
2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?
LEFT
RIGHT
BOTH
YES
NO
MAYBE
3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?
4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?
MULTIPLE
PART IV - REASON FOR
FILING THIS REPORT
(Mark all that apply)
I am thin skinned
The Dept needs to fix my problems
Two beers is not enough
I am a wimp
My feelings are easily hurt
My hands should be in my pockets
I have woman / man-like hormones
I didn't sign up for this
I was not offered a tissue
I am a crybaby
I was told that I am not a hero
Someone requested a tissue
I want my mommy
The weather is too cold
All of the above and more
NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)
PART V - AUTHENTICATION
A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)
B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)
C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)
We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.
Filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form requires attention to detail. Each section must be completed accurately to ensure the report is processed correctly. Follow these steps to fill out the form properly.
Once the form is completed, it must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer. Ensure all sections are filled out thoroughly to avoid delays in processing. If you need further assistance, don't hesitate to reach out for support.
The Hurt Feelings Report form bears similarities to a complaint form used in various organizations, including workplaces and educational institutions. Such forms allow individuals to formally document grievances regarding perceived slights or unfair treatment. Like the Hurt Feelings Report, these complaint forms often require personal information about the complainant, details of the incident, and a description of the perceived harm. The intent behind both types of documents is to provide a structured way for individuals to express their feelings and seek resolution, whether through mediation or other forms of support.
Another comparable document is the emotional distress claim form, commonly utilized in legal contexts. This form is designed for individuals who believe they have suffered emotional harm due to another party's actions. Similar to the Hurt Feelings Report, it requires the claimant to outline the specifics of the incident, the emotional impact, and any witnesses to the event. Both documents aim to provide a framework for individuals to articulate their feelings, although the emotional distress claim form often has more serious legal implications, potentially leading to compensation for the claimant.
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Additionally, the grievance form used in educational settings shares a resemblance with the Hurt Feelings Report. Students may use grievance forms to report instances of bullying, discrimination, or other negative experiences. Both documents emphasize the importance of recognizing and validating feelings, providing a formal mechanism for individuals to voice their concerns. The grievance form typically includes sections for the details of the incident and any actions taken, paralleling the structure found in the Hurt Feelings Report.
The incident report form, often used by law enforcement and organizations, is another document that aligns with the Hurt Feelings Report. This form captures details about specific events, including who was involved and what occurred. While incident reports usually focus on factual accounts and evidence, they share the underlying purpose of documenting experiences. Both forms aim to create a record that can be referenced later, whether for accountability or for understanding the emotional impact of an event.
Finally, the customer feedback form used by businesses can be likened to the Hurt Feelings Report. Customers often fill out these forms to express dissatisfaction or disappointment with a service or product. Like the Hurt Feelings Report, the customer feedback form seeks to gather information about the experience and the emotional response of the individual. Both documents serve as tools for organizations to understand the concerns of individuals, allowing for potential improvements and fostering a sense of care and responsiveness.
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Misconceptions about the Hurt Feelings Report form can lead to misunderstandings about its purpose and use. Here are nine common misconceptions, along with explanations to clarify each one.
Understanding these misconceptions can help clarify the true nature of the Hurt Feelings Report form and its intended purpose. It is essential to approach such materials with a critical eye and recognize the underlying humor.